Upon looking at this shirt and thinking about what I should write for it
I realized that this is the perfect opportunity to indulge in one of my
favorite internet pastimes: finding and linking videos of guys getting
kicked in the nuts. Far be it for me to pass on a golden opportunity
such as this, so here we go.
As a true indication of the kinds of weirdness guys will get into when
they are bored, drunk, and too full of testosterone, here is a video of a
guy getting kicked in the nuts by a Ninja Turtle.
This one actually kind of boggles my mind, just when considering how
these idiots got to this point. Were they all drinking and one of them
had a TMNT costume in his trunk and they decided to go with the kicking
in the balls thing? Did they come up with a plan weeks ago to shoot a
video that would get over 700,000 views on YouTube and one of them
thought it would be even better if they could have a Ninja Turtle do
it? Were they just drinking in the park and decided to start a "kicked
in the nuts" contest and there just happened to be a Ninja Turtle
By they way, since the ninja mask is purple, this turtle obviously must
be Donetello. I don't know whether to be proud or embarrassed that I
In case any of you out there are guys and thinking about getting
into some kind of similar kicked in the balls contest, check out these
possible testicular injuries. I heard an interview on the Howard Stern Show a few month ago with a guy who groined himself on a bedpost and his testes swelled up to over 75 pounds. Don't mess with it.
So apparently there is a YouTube show called You Got Kicked in the Nuts that resembles Ow! My Balls! from Idiocracy to a scary extent.
I think if there is one kind of ball injuring accident that makes me
laugh more than any other it's skateboarders catching their testes while
trying to ollie over something or catching a rail between the legs.
Here is one with a kid that is funny and sad. He's just a little guy. One the other hand, I just almost passed out laughing so hard at this compilation of skateboarding nutters. Seriously, I think I ruptured something.
I could probably come up with a couple reasons why this makes me laugh
so much, mostly having to do with the fact that my early 20's were
pretty much a war with skateboarders and my utter contempt of the
skateboarding industry. The funny thing is I have a lot of respect for
the professional skateboarders and enjoy watching them skate, but the
half assed posers who see skateboarding as more of a lifestyle than
anything else surfaces I just sit there hoping they break something.
Anyway, I think I have more or less milked this for all I am going to get. I will leave this with a final Top 10 Most Painful Nut Shots (number 2 with the hobby horse has to be my favorite) and the warning that you, like this shirt says, protect your nuts.
September 23rd, 2012
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