Description
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I know I was bitching a while ago about running out of things to say about zombies (this, for the record, is the 18th zombie t-shirt in the category) but this one is a no brainer (Ah. zombie humor). There is a ton of material on the interlink (by the way, I hope you all got the two extremely clever movie references I have already effortlessly crowbarred into this description. I think the only thing greater than my wit is my modesty) about surviving the zombie apocalypse. I have already used a bunch of them, including the most excellent book by zombie guru Max Brooks, but there is no shortage whatsoever. Here is another zombie survival handbook that seems pretty solid.
We have spent a lot of time talking about how to survive a zombie attack, and how to kill zombies, but the question must inevitably arise: why bother? Have we really considered the benefits of being a zombie? Here are a few I have come up with.
1. No job, no boss, no one to answer to (unless you work in corporate America, in which case you are already a zombie of a different kind and still answer to someone)
2. All kinds of free food running around (mostly on two feet).
3. Effectively unkillable, assuming you had the foresight to turn into a zombie while wearing your Kevlar helmet (I would).
4. If you are feeling lonely, just bite someone for a new friend.
5. All that time and money spent on grooming and clothing can be saved and spent on more important things, like brains. Also spending money on skin care products is a thing of the past.
6. If your dating life kind of sucks, as an undead there is always the chance you could meet a necrophiliac.
7. Bottom line, you are a member of the undead but at least you aren't a stupid day glow vampire.
I found these instructions on how to turn into a zombie, but it is actually pretty stupidly written. You can actually see the author struggling to be clever, and failing at it. There is such a thing as trying too hard. I hardly try at all (that should be pretty obvious to anyone who has read more than a couple of my descriptions). Just spout out whatever is on my mind whenever I look at a t-shirts and the results are fairly passable. Odds are I shouldn't even link that last one, but not everything I link will be gems.
This next one is a gem, however. It is a diatribe written by a zombie feminist. Excellent.
Ugh. Some days I hate people. I just tried to do a search for a zombie Bill of Rights and just got a ton of political jackasses either using Zombie in their name or calling people zombies for following whatever fool they follow. Let's try to come up with your own metaphors, people.
Here is a great video by the Horrorpops called Walk like a Zombie. I can highly recommend watching this as I have been a fan of that band for a long time. How could I not love a rockabilly influenced horror punk band with a hot brunette lead singer playing a stand up bass? Stand up bass automatically adds about 10 points to any band's cool factor, IMO. Looks like they are playing Oakland in October. I might have to drop my normal policy of going nowhere on any given weekend night and go see the show. Should be pretty good.
Features:
- Black T shirt
- Very Soft 30/1 thickness material
- 100% cotton
- Normal fit
- Officially Licensed by Ripple Junction
Shaun of the Dead T-Shirt - Zombie Survival Kit
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