Alot of people complain about the problems that the internet wreaks on our daily lives. In an age where click-bait contagions plague our waking hours, replacing human contact with headlines like “How to make friends in 4 easy steps" while depression and anxiety hit record highs, it’s easy enough to take for granted the problems that the internet has made obsolete. But perhaps we’ve overlooked the privileges we’ve enjoyed as impatient and insatiable consumers of online content. Perhaps the benefits of the internet can be best expressed in a list of 5 different ways Rosemary’s Baby could have ended well had Rosemary had the internet.

1. Google Tannis Root

Had Rosemary just googled Tannis Root she would have seen that, apart from it being a fictional herb seen in Rosemary’s Baby, it also happens to have mystical properties. If she dug a little deeper she might’ve even made connection to Tanis, the biblical location speculated by some to be Christ’s resting place. But by that point she might have been too caught up in the biblicalarchaeology.com forums get to number two on our list.

2. Check Dr. Abraham Sapirstein’s reviews on Yelp

Granted, pretty much everybody Rosemary came across seemed to be in on the plot, and what with Yelp’s extortion allegations it’s hard to claim that Rosemary would really be in the clear. But still, it’s always worth a quick perusal. Who knows, maybe she’d catch a review dictating the truth of Sapirstein’s evil ways.

3. Forget about the damned run-down independent bookstore

Don’t get me wrong, going to an independent bookstore is a lovely way to spend an afternoon. But when it comes to getting up-to-date information quick a leisurely perusal is the last thing you need. So get moving, unless you (justifiably) believe your local independent bookstores needs you more than your demon baby.

4. Decode the anagram with Anagram-solver.net

Instead of spending hours in transit getting home, pouring out her bag of scrabble pieces and rearranging them until she came across the right combination of letters, Rosemary should’ve whipped out her smartphone and decoded right on Hutch’s grave the contents of All of them Witches on a solid anagram solving site. Thanks internet!

5. Just Google “Abdominal pain during pregnancy”

Yes, when on the lookout for medical information many sites will tell you to consult your practitioner. However, if your practitioner is a satan-worshipping cod and refuses to give you any insight on what the causes of your abdominal pains during pregnancy may be, there is at least the option of looking into “11 Causes of Abdominal Pain in a Pregnant Patient” or any other article online that will broadly outline the potential risks you may be facing. Pro tip: if anyone ever tells you that your pregnancy-induced abdominal pains that have lasted upwards of two months will go away naturally, spit in their stupid face because they’re obviously just using your body for their demonic cult rituals.

So, if you ever find yourself lamenting the golden days when children played in parks instead of on their phones and movies couldn’t be ruined by a chance visit to the director’s legal history on wikipedia, think again. We may no longer have the option to live as simple people in blissful ignorance, but at least in the twenty-first century we can can arm ourselves with reference and count on call-out culture to hear us out. Imagine if Rosemary had the same.