There's some interesting stuff about our friend Tony. He was created in 1952 and won a contest to be the next Kelloggs mascot. He had three siblings created at the same time; Katy the Kangaroo
, Elmo the Elephant
, and Newt the Gnu
. Only Katy made it onto a cereal box, and for the most part they all did what brothers and sisters of successful celebrities usually do; slunk off into mundanity until the time comes to write a tell all book
. Katy is some kind of child entertainer, Elmo a frequent subway rider, and Newt has a job in computer programming.
Just to show there isn't a freak out there for anything, check out this Tony the Tiger
page. I especially liked looking at this guys collection of cereal boxes. It takes all kinds, I guess.
LOL. Here is a story about Tony the Tiger eating Pop
, from Snap, Crackle, and Pop. Funny. Kind of gets me thinking, actually. I could see someone named Pop, especially if they were older and fatherly, and I suppose it's in the realm of possibility that Snap could be some kind of hip hop or rap name ("Oh Snap") but what kind of elf mom would reasonably name her son Crackle? Honestly, that just doesn't sound good. Maybe she was on crak herself and he was born addicted, which would explain his stunted growth. Also, are they brothers, cousins, friends, or gay lovers? These are the questions that keep me up at night.
Here is a cartoon featuring the Tony the Tiger sweatshop
. Funny, but nothing to compare to an image of Tony either molesting, about to eat, or beating a child with a baseball bat (or perhaps all three).
In case you are one of those idiots who sees a cartoon character that's all nice and friendly and makes the assumption that this is how the animals are in the wild, check out this insane tiger attack
. This tiger literally mauls some guy while he is on the back of an elephant with two other guys. Truly bad ass. Of course the best part is the guy throwing a stick at her. My apology for making you watch whatever hipster jackass they got to host it, incidentally.
I also found this Wikipedia article listing famous man eating tigers including the Champawat Tiger
, which killed at least 436 humans. Don't mess with tigers.
I found this article on keeping tigers as pets
, but if you do so you totally deserve to get eaten by your tiger. Seriously, I laugh every time some jackass gets killed by his own tiger. The sad part is, however, that is is often times not the owner but some local kid who gets killed. Don't do it. You aren't cool for having a tiger. Really.
February 25th, 2011