Had I seen someone wearing this shirt any time in the last 30 years I think a fair statement for me to make would be "Yep, some day I will be writing a description for that t-shirt." Saying that I am deeply and creatively weird is a bit of an understatement. I think this might be an opportunity to talk about some of the stranger art I created while getting my otherwise worthless degree in studio art.
One time a couple friends of mine did a project where they took a car and white trashed it up. In order to get it into the gallery they were required to remove the engine, transmission, and most of the other moving part. When they finished they were stuck with a completely worthless hunk of metal that no one, not even those wrecker places, would take without an engine. I came up with an idea and spent weeks with a welding torch, cutting the entire car into spiral chunks, which I welded into a huge spiral cut car. It was fun and cool, but the weirdest part was what to do with the damn thing when I was done with the project. I had received an ultimatum from the head of the ceramics department (who we universally called Krusty the Clown for obvious reasons) to remove the wreckage from his in front of his biggest kiln. God forbid I should slow down the production of novelty bongs his students were to a man (and woman) dedicated to.
Anyway, I was now burdened with having to get rid of this thing and having it be even more unpopular with local junk dealers. However, if there is one thing extreme poverty does if you, is it sharpens your resourcefulness to a razors edge. I busted out the cutting torch and broke it up into three foot chunks, which I deposited into dumpsters across campus. Thank you, UC Irvine Facilities Management.
Not the most creative project. My best show was the wooden gun deal. I made wooden replicas of dozens of assault rifles, machine guns, pistols, and shot guns which I hung from monofilament (fishing) line from the ceiling, making for a surreal gun experience. It was actually pretty cool and one of the few projects I did that was universally well received. I later showed the pieces in a gallery and sold them to some gun dealer in Texas. I made $2600, which sounded like a lot until I remembered that I had spent about eight months of my life on it. Of course I spent five years of my life getting a fancy piece of paper that did nothing for me, so go figure.
I did another one where I took a welcome mat and covered it with nails, making it an unwelcome mat. That was fun.
I think I am doing better these days with my creative side doing my own t-shirt designs. Check out the NerdKungFu originals. I am going to cut this one short and maybe get a couple more done tonight. I don't know if I need to write a novel for each shirt.
June 21st, 2011
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