Another great classic, and source of a vast number of great quotes like this one. Here is a list of a ton of memorable Airplane quotes.
There's a great website called Flights From Hell, wherein people list their horrible flights. I have to fly quite a bit, and can say I have had a flight I believe worthy of the site, although I would rather use it for content here.
Basically I was coming back from Little Rock (I think). We had a layover in Dallas, and it looked like I was going to get the entire row all to myself. Then at the very last minute a Hispanic rap band with the unlikely name of "Beer Loving M-F-ers" comes on board and sits next to me. I know their name because they all had matching BLMF tattoos on their arms, I know they were a rap band because they insisted on practicing for the entire flight, and I know they loved beer because they proceeded to drink their asses off.
I think the flight attendants were a little afraid of them, as the didn't cut them off when they really should have. Also, at least one of them was an aging MILF and spent most of the flight flirting with the lead singer. The guy right next to me was a nice enough guy for an obnoxious drunk, but I spent most of the flight wishing I was in an emergency exit row so I could bail on that flight.
Then, just to prove that god does nothing halfway, we landed and I found I had lost the paper I wrote my car parking lot area on. I got to spend 45 minutes in a chilly drizzle looking for my car.
Actually, recounting that story has reminded me of a number of other bad flight stories I could regale you with, but in the name of basic humanity I will refrain. I would link the band if I could find anything, but I'm not really finding much so I guess they broke up (or never got a site together).
I found this article about a near mid air collision with a UFO. You would think that any race capable of traveling to our planet would have the technology to avoid planes. Maybe the pilot was doing the alien equivalent of drinking and driving.
All prices are in USD.