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Abraham Lincoln I Hate Theatre T-Shirt

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Abraham Lincoln
$16.95

 Product Description

I wasn't going to do another shirt description today, but I am on hell hold for tech support and I might as well make this time productive.

I love this shirt. It makes me laugh my ass off. Truer words were never spoken. Also, by some weird fluke, without intending to I somehow have three different Abraham Lincoln shirts on my site. It's almost enough to justify an Abe Lincoln category. Sales on this shirt and the Steam Punk Abe one more or less justifies it too.

I have to be careful with creating new categories like that, though. I create a Lincoln category and I will be committing myself to ordering every Lincoln shirt I can find, regardless if it is good or not. Sometimes my obsessive brain is a blessing and sometimes it is a curse.

When I think of the assassination of Abraham Lincoln, I am always drawn back to Zoolander. The great thing about any kind of assassination is all the conspiracy theories that crop up around it. Of course, for Lincoln there actually was a conspiracy theory and eight other men besides John Wilkes Booth were convicted. It might just be that the Lincoln conspiracy was the start of all the conspiracy theories that followed. Cool.

I just found an 18 second video claiming to be the ghost of Abraham Lincoln appearing in a fireworks display, but I watched it a couple of times and all I saw were some cheap bottle rockets going off so I will spare you. Also, if you are going to subject us to remarkably lame advertisements that we cannot skip over have the foresight to to not make the advertisement longer than the video I am waiting for.

I'm finding about a million sites talking about the million or so amazing similarities between Lincoln and Kennedy (aside from the fact that they were both presidents and both assassinated) but that has been so played to death I won't bother. I'm really not finding anything I can sink my teeth into, if you know what I mean. Here is a weird Lincoln video where some girl makes arguably the worst costume of recorded history, but in spite of it's inspirational concept it's actually freakishly boring.

All of a sudden I am intrigued by the question what is it about Lincoln that inspires some of the worst videos I have ever seen? Check out this horrible excuse for a film. It looks as if someone had too much free time, money, and brain aneurysms. For god's sake.

Here's something. It's a review of Abraham Lincolns Big Gay Dance Party, some kind of play. Looks pretty amusing.

When I run dry on anything good I can usually fall back on finding a hilarious video of some idiots getting punched in the balls, but even those that I am finding kind of suck. One of those nights, I guess. All I am finding are videos of guys looking to get kicked on purpose. I don't really get that. Either they have forgotten how much it hurts or they are into it. Either that or they are just huge Jackass fans. Here is a video of a guy kicking a bear in the nuts for some kind of salmon commercial. I didn't know salmon was a big enough business to justify a commercial. Learn something new every day.

Dave
August 24th, 2010

Features:

  • Sand T shirt
  • Standard 18/1 thickness material
  • 100% cotton not pre shrunk
  • Large fit

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