This is my new favorite shirt, and I have bumped it up to the front of the line for doing shirt descriptions (my new goal is at least one a day). The reason I love it is it was pretty much my idea, and it has been wildly successful. If you see any other companies out there with similar shirts you can rest assured they are completely ripping me off.
OK, I guess I have done a lot of zombie t-shirt descriptions, as I am having to dig a little deeper to find something interesting. Fortunately, my Google-fu is strong tonight, as I seem to have hit pay dirt with this Craigslist zombie sex post
from 2007. I guess someone keeps the best of Craigslist going, and it's pretty funny.
I think it fair to say I have a certain amount of experience with Craigslist personal posts. No, I have not solicited prostitutes, although I will say that before they started cracking down on them an hour could easily be killed reading those posts and either laughing or crying at what was up there. I have, however, gone out with a number of girls I met on Craigslist and can say, with no reservation whatsoever, that they were all to a woman (more) insane.
Again, I'm not talking about the casual sex posts or anyone into weird stuff like zombie sex girl. These were for the most part "normal" single women and were all listed in the long term relationship categories. Nevertheless, all freaks in their own way. I don't want to go into all of them in this description, as they represent a massive story reserve that I can probably stretch into a couple dozen more descriptions. I will, however, talk about one of the weirdest ones: the time I dated a professional dominatrix.
She actually was exactly that. Guys would respond to her Craigslist ad (it was through her that I learned about prostitutes on Craigslist) and pay her to tie them up and beat them. She didn't get naked or do anything sexual (as I perceive sex) but it seemed like most of her friends and business associates did something like that. I never actually hooked up with her, but I think I hung around mainly because her stories were so great to listen to (also she was extremely generously endowed, if you know what I mean). We'd get dinner and she'd tell me stories about guys paying her to kick them in the nuts
For the record, she was total white trash, down to the beat up Camero she drove and living in a trailer park.
Obviously this is going to be one of those descriptions that kind of runs off the rails a lot. In case you were wondering (and really, which of us hasn't?) here are some instructions on how to become a professional dominatrix
. Also, for the record, this is not the sort of woman I am attracted to, so if you are looking for someone to be your gimp I am not interested (unless you are super hot, in which case we can talk).
I found this article that claims to list the 10 Worst Zombie Movies of all time
, but I have seen dozens of these lists and none of them seem to agree. This list does not have Zombie Lake, Dead Snow, Zombie Squad, or Zombi 3. I think the reason none of the lists ever match is that so many zombie movies are in that zone of so-bad-its-good, but that zone is so subjective that no one can agree on it. One of these days I'll work on my own list and post it on my blog.
Here is some weird trivia. It is considered a crime in Haiti to create a zombie of any kind, including the classic zombified human (as opposed to actual undead) and is considered murder. Here are some vague instructions on how to create a zombie
, although I always thought the easiest way would be to sit someone in front of American Idol
for a couple hours.
Yes, I am feeling snobby because I find reality TV to be the entertainment equivalent of throwing rocks at a concrete wall. Of course, all I ever watch is sci fi, so who am I to judge?
I'll end this by telling you that if you have any kind of liking for zombie movies of any kind you had better see the Walking Dead
quick. I just watched all six episodes the other night and was really impressed with the show. I highly recommend it.
April 25th, 2011