I am one of those unfortunates who remembers when the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles were actual ninja assassins and killed people. Now they throw pizzas at each other and ride Razor scooters. They had to invent robot ducks so they could actually kill something.

By the way, I was looking for instructions on how to become a ninja (in case the nerd t shirt thing fails) and found, in addition to a disturbingly large number of sites that seem to want to sell you actual, real instructions, this awesome video on how to make your own Ninja mask out of a black t shirt.

Check out this great Onion news article on the annual Ninja parade in Modesto, California. I missed this years but will be in attendance next year.