It is my deep, dark, secret nerd shame that I never actually figured this bastard out. Not for lack of trying, but I never honestly solved it. This is a big admission for me, and probably really hurts my nerd street cred.

Oh, well. At least I didn't waste 26 years of my life on it like this guy (assuming that story is even close to real). I actually did solve it once, more or less by accident. I was just turning the cube kind of randomly and all of a sudden it was fixed. I don't count that as I have never been able to repeat the feat.

Naturally, I feel obligated to link the Rubik’s Cube solution. I can't vouch for these instructions, as I still grasp the dream of one day sitting down and figuring it out all on my own, but go nuts.

Sigh. Why do I do this to myself? I was going to link one of those speed solving Rubik's cube videos, but God and the internet decided I wasn't feeling stupid enough today and so I came across this video of a three year old Chinese girl solving it in 114 seconds. Good for her I guess. Time to go weep in a corner.

This description keeps getting more and more annoying. I swear I started out in a good mood. Here is a video of some Czeck idiots solving a Rubik’s Cube while skydiving. I find it depressing knowing that if I had to solve the cube before pulling the rip cord I would pancake. Also, the guy manages to pull the cord and land without dropping the damned cube. I would have liked to have seen the cube smashed to bits.

Now I need to find something to cheer me up. Here is a great video of a fairly hot babysitter getting attacked by a housecat. Thank god for the nanny cam.

I think I need to make a list of things I can do that three year old Chinese girls cannot. Drive. Drink alcohol. Surf the uncensored internet. Sell t-shirts. Get someone pregnant. Tie my own shoes (although odds are she could do this too). Fly on an airplane unattended. Vote. Play Warhammer.

Ok, I feel better.

Dave
September 2nd, 2010.